When people you care most about , hurt u .

i feel reali upset today cos for no reason i kena scolding . kena blamed , kena accused cos of my mum`s stupid frens . i reali not happy , and reali angry lo , cos she batu api my parents .
i used to smoke last time , and then i kept some of the empty boxes cos they remind me of incidents , and memories that i wana keep in my heart . altho i stopped now , i still keep them in my cupboard . i know alot of people will say im dumb , but i believe that if i dint do anything wrong , its ok to keep them cos i hv nuthin to hide , or to feel guilty about . and they hv been there for quite some time . today my mum SUDDENLY decided to clean my cupboard , then she found the boxes , n i guess she decided to ransack my whole room , cos she found a bottle of black label in one of my drawers . altho they insist they dint search my room , but i feel they did , cos the bottle and the boxes are at different places , so if my mum was raeli just searching for bed sheets or pillow cases then she would`ve oni found the boxes . SO how did she find the bottle ? answer is obvious ma .
and i fought wit my parents cos i felt that they invaded my privacy , and YES . i know its oni cos they cared , but now i feel like i hv no personal space , or privacy even in my OWN room . i hv NO to freedom to express myself , or to be myself .
on top of that , the reason why they are pissed is obv because they assume that im some hard core alcoholic and a smoker .
and the reason they are VERY SURE THAT I SMOKE IS COS MY MUM`S FRIEND 'SAW' ME SMOKING IN THE PARK SINCE I WAS IN FORM 3
REALLY LO , THAT IS DAMN FUNNY . OMG , in form3 , i doubt any of my frens even held a ciggarette before what more smoke . LOL . reali funny lo ..
i AM VERY ANGRY AT THIS . and the best part is , the auntie lives around my housing area !!!
yes , i admitted to my dad . i wont lie , i smokED before , but it got boring and i dint like it anymore , so i stopped . but that was in form5 . when everyone started smoking . i still remember my first ciggarette , at Sim`s party . with MX !!!
i cant believe that they dont believe me , but believe some 50yr old auntie !!!
i feel reali hurt and upset for being blamed and scolded , and even tho my dad believes me , i still dont like it , because now , they will alwys hv in their mind , when she goes out , is she smoking !!! YOU CANT EVEN IMAGINE HOW FUCKING ANGRY I AM . I HAVE HALF THE MIND TO GO TO HER HOUSE , AND SOUND HER FOR MAKING ME SO UPSET .. FOR MAKING MY PARENTS MISUNDERSTAND ME


how can the people who are supposed to care about u the most , hurt u the worst . i told my dad that now i kno that frm today onwards , in their hearts , what i do is alwys wrong . and they dun even understand me . or how i feel because what they want frm me is the image of the perfect daughter in their mind , but i cant be that . and i wont be that . i am my own person , and even if u dun believe me . its fine , its alrite cos i learnt to rely less on others , but believe in myself . and as long as i know what im doing is fine , and is right , then its all ok . now i know how u see me , and how much u kno me . now i kno that im ur eyes , im the image of the daughter gone wrong and u kno wat . i will learn to care less , because the less i care , the less i hurt .
Both of you reali hurt me . and both u reali dissapointed me . I REALI thought u knew me better , but now i know , u never did , and never WILL .


to my mum`s frens or their children : if i EVER find out that i hv been accused of things that i have never done by any of u .
let me make it clear to u , that i wont pei min my mum , and even if u are older than me , I WILL give u a piece of my mind . dont think that just because you are older , or because i HAVE TO respect u , i will just shut up and let u make me get fucked by my parents !!!
if u have anything to say , make sure u hv proof . dun use ur fucking mouth and talk talk talk !! because for all u kno , ur kids are far worse than me , but i dun like to talk . thats why u think they are so angelic .
dun ever think u can take advantage of me !! gRrrr ..