MY Fault

haih ..
seriously , i should just sit down . and dun do anything .
tonite , i reali cari pasal wit myself . i wanted to see u , i called u to meet up . i called u . eventho i kno u usually call me when u wana meet me , but i tot tis time around it might be abit more different .

yea , it was different alrite .
duno better or worse . u reali gave me something to remember u by . and i honestly duno if thats a good thing or not . altho , ive been thinking about u ALOT since then .
i went to look for u , i sendiri made myself confused .
i tink i aso kinda pissed u off ..
altho u say no , i can feel it .
when u were there , u sed u would come back n find me . i waited 10 days , but u still dint come so i took matters into my own hands . which clearly was the worst thing i could have done
now that ur back , i talk less to u , u hv less time for me .
i know that if u read tis , u wld be reali upset . i dun nid u to spend everyday wit me , i just nid u to tok to me , even for 5 mins . it doesnt even hv to be a daily thing .
i just want that feeling, that ur still thinking of me ..
like how when u were there , if i dint come online for afwe days , u wld mail me . or text me . or call me . now in 10 days ...

i kno u wont like it that i feel tis way , i kno u will think im still that small girl 3 yrs ago that demanded so much frm u . that cldnt understand ..
im different now .
i understand more .. its just that , sometimes i miss u alot .
and when i kno that ur so nearby and i dun even get to see u , or tok to u ..
i feel reali sad .

everyone says that im ur toy , ur summer fling ..
but i kno im not .. no matter how many times they tell me , i shut them off frm my system cos im 100% sure that i KNOW you . and im so damn sure that eventho uve changed alot these few yrs , there are things about u that are still the same .
the same things that i saw in u before .
things which i can still feel frm u . the same feelings that i get when u look at me ..
things like that .. are not goin to change .

everything ive done tis yr is for fucks .
everything ive done tis yr is one BIG fucking mistake . and then other ppl benefit frm it .
i duno where ive gone wrong , or how ive gone so wrong . and so off track ..

how do i find my way again ??
do i reali hv to do it all by myself .. or can i rely on someone ?